Top Ten Considerations Before Marrying Cross Culturally
Submitted by Bill Belew on Friday, 15 September 2006No Comment
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What about EXPECTATIONS? My husband and I knew some men who were from a country where patriarchal values were predominant. They fell in love with American women, but were surprised when their new wives didn’t want to quit their jobs, stay home with the children, cook, clean and cater to them.
I enjoyed reading this point, and although there are many things to think about in choosing a life partner, I am a fan of marriage, multi-cultural or otherwise.
My husband and I, both Americans, have had to work out personality differences. I’m an optimist, he is a pessimist. I am social, he prefers quiet time at home. We’ve discovered that when we allow each other to be who we are - celebrating both our differences and those things we have in common - we turn out to be best friends. I still have an active social life, particulary with my work colleagues. However, since my best friend is home, turns out I’m enjoying those quiet evenings at home more and more.
I wished I would have considered all of the above. I am American married to someone from a different continent and all of the above and more have cause nothing but tension and disharmony and more recently separation. These are very important points and I would recommend that anyone who plans to engage in a cross cultural relationship especially marriage to consider them.
Well, I used to date White men ONLY out of self-hatred…until I finally hit rock bottom and got fed-up. The fact was, their reality was usually 180 from my fantasy. And vice-versa for Asian men - who have exceeded all my expectations from the start!
Anyhow, I advise other Asian women to open their squinty eyes, because the grass is SOOO NOT greener on the other side! PLEASE learn from my mistakes and take it from me!!!
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