10 Reasons I Don’t Want Maureen McCormick/Marcia Brady as My Girl Next Door

In a previous post – 12 Things I Know About ‘All-American Girl’ Mary Kay Letourneau - I pondered why I liked raising my children in Asia. It’s more likely that the girl next door might be the girl you want to live next door to your children.

Growing up, Marcia Brady/Maureen McCormick, was my favorite on the Brady Bunch. She and I are just two years apart in age, if that is of any relevance.

Still, I am learning now why the girl next door is not really the girl I thought she was. And, why I might want to take my little girl back to Asia to raise where my boys were raised.

1. Marcia is hypocritical. On the tube she was wholesome. Off tube – drug addiction. (But, then I didn’t want to watch the drug addiction on TV, I reckon.

2. Marcia committed incest, sorta…dating her on camera sibling, Barry Williams.

3. Marcia, um, Maureen admits to cocaine binges.

4. Maureen admits to parties at the Playboy Mansion (and I wasn’t invited.)

5. Maureen admits to trading sex for drugs…resulting in an unwanted preganncy.

6. Maureen admits to hiding behind unreal perfection of Marcia Brady. (Where were her parents when she starred in the Brady Bunch beginning at 14 till 19?)

7. Maureen chose “Brady” cast mates to fight depression through therapy and medication.

8. Maureen admits it took “countless mistakes and decades of pain and suffering” to disconnect herself from a fake on camera identity. Decades??!!

9. Maureen botched an interview with Steven Spielberg on her road ‘back’ because she was high at the time.

10. On second thought, or 9th thought, maybe I do wish Maureen McCormick lived next door. The woman needs/needed a friend, and I really wish I could have been there to help.

I suppose instead of taking my daughter to Asia to protect her from ’such girls next door’ I ought to teach her to be the girl next door. And, maybe I should go check in on my neighbor.